Learning to Settle Again
I haven’t posted a written entry for a while—the last entry was on 20th September, 21 days ago. The reason for this is not that I lost interest, but rather the many changes in my environment, due to moving out from one city to another, which has left me overwhelmed. Due to ADHD, my mind can notice minute differences in surroundings, resulting an information overload and therefore a quick exhaustion. Because of this overwhelming feeling, I preferred watching movies and TV series. That is why (you might have noticed) I mostly posted small reviews of movies and TV shows, instead of written posts.
It is not that I haven't tried writing, I had several new ideas such as Be With The Flow and How Dressing Can Influence The Aproachability?, among others. Whenever I got an idea, I noted it down and tried to write about it. But each time, I quickly gave up because it felt like an intimidating task. Sometimes writing a small movie review felt so demanding that I ended up posting it after a couple of days of watching.
I have noticed a similar decline in my reading habits as well. A highly stimulating environment makes it hard to focus on anything. The most extreme example of it is travelling especially by air. Whenever I am on a flight, I try to read academic papers to feel productive. However, sound, pressure difference and discomfort influence my focus. With scattered attention, I find it hard to read. Every time I've tried it, I've failed miserably. In this environment, even reading non-academic books—including my favorite ones—starts to feel like a daunting task.
The only thing I was doing, apart from arranging my travels and vacating/renting apartments, was using my phone. Now to a new reader it might be obvious, but (FYI) I do not have any social media. So "using phone" only meant random google searches about the place I plan to visit or the things I need to buy. This is again a maze of possibilities for my ADHD brain, draining my energy and left me exhausted more often.
While writing this post, I am sitting in my new apartment in a new city, and ruminating about the endless possibilities—good and bad ones—moving out brings. Although its not my first time—I have moved before around 4-5 times to different cities or countries—it's still hard to quickly adapt to the new environment. I know that it will take time and slowly-slowly I will adjust.